Reviewing the predictions made one year ago today in the gaia shattering report, Separation of Religion and Government in Retrograde, the spiritual researchers of the BC Humanist Association have concluded that they achieved a 98.2% accuracy with their astrological prognostications. This unrivaled success puts all other forms of divination to shame and suggests the practice of beginning sittings with 'prayers and reflections' is clearly outdated.
The findings are detailed in depth in the new report, Legislative Syzygy.
Using the latest political news and astrological findings, the report recommends the governing NDP "would do well to consider a candidate born under a Scorpio moon in the upcoming Vancouver-Quilchena by election."
The report reiterates the calls of the first that the BC Legislature hire an official astrologer, invest in other forms of divination, and that the birth dates for every MLA and political candidate be made publicly available.
AL Schtick, a lapsed skeptic and co-author, was still frustrated by the number of MLAs whose birthdates are not publicly available. "Just look at the BC Liberals," said Schtick. "They replaced one white guy with a mystery birthday for another," referring to newly elected leader Kevin Falcon.
Reaction from BCHA members to the first report was overwhelmingly positive, an indication of their appreciation of the rigour at the heart of every BCHA research product.
"We are confident our members will be as appreciative of this report as they were of our previous one," said BCHA Executive Director Ian Bushfield. "In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if many opted to make an extra donation today to support our continued pasquinades in service of science and secularism."
For it is only when the sun sets,
that the stars come out.